2 page film script opening

I wrote a two page film script opening in January 2014. The script is strictly dialogue and follows the story of a sixteen year old boy who is sick and tired of his regular boring life. He seeks for help from a group of youths who put him to the test to see if he has what it takes to be one of them. The script lacks plot explanation and doesn't go into a lot of detail about anything important, as it is strictly dialogue. Below the script I have scanned my original notes in my sketchbook which shows planning and character development.

Script:

REUBEN RAMIREZ

(Voice over)

I think I'm going to jump...

SECURITY OFFICER

Get back here right now you little shit!

REUBEN RAMIREZ

(Panicked tone)

Fuck.

(VO)

Lets rewind a little bit. Lets take a look at how I got myself into this sticky, unwanted situation.

ONE WEEK PREVIOUS

REUBEN RAMIREZ

(VO)

I am just plain and simple sixteen year old Reuben Ramirez from a pathetic little town in New York. I don't have that many friends, my life is a constant boring cycle, and I'm looking to change my life. Quickly.

CARMEN BLACK

What do you want?

REUBEN RAMIREZ

Am I correct in thinking that you're Carmen? Carmen Black?

CARMEN BLACK

Yeah, that's me. Now spit out what you're wasting my time for or get lost.

REUBEN RAMIREZ

Someone gave me your name, they said you could help me out..

RANDY BLUE

(Holding back a laugh)

Where have we heard that one before?

CARMEN BLACK

Help you with what son?

REUBEN RAMIREZ

(VO)

At this point I was incredibly nervous and wished I'd never approached Carmen, but then I spat this out.

I wanna be cool..

RANDY BLUE

Well isn't that sw-..

CARMEN BLACK

Randy, please.

What's your name?

REUBEN RAMIREZ

My name is Reuben.. listen I regret doing this, it was a bad idea.

CARMEN BLACK

No! Wait a sec. Stay.

You wanna be cool? Do you know what it takes to get in with our clique?

REUBEN RAMIREZ

Briefly.. I've heard around. But, no not really.

RANDY BLUE

You aren't in for a chance pretty boy

CARMEN BLACK

Randy! Shut your mouth.

Reuben, could you give me and Randy two seconds? We need to talk.

REUBEN RAMIREZ

Sure..

CARMEN BLACK

Randy, look at him, he's desperate, it's perfect. Can you imagine what we could get him to do for us?

RANDY BLUE

He's cute and all, but he doesn't look like he's got balls. Are you sure he's worth our time?

CARMEN BLACK

Definitely, I can see it in his eyes, he wants in.

Let's change the rules a little bit.. What's something we want, what's something we need for our rep boost?

RANDY BLUE

Bitch.. Fashion Week. It's next Monday.

CARMEN BLACK

Oh my god, perfect. Fuck! Yes.

Reuben, get your ass back over here.

Scans: